The next day we were reading through cards - which, by the way, is a lot less sentimental with a preschooler thrashing open envelopes - and in one of them was written Psalm 78:4. We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. In their note, our friends assured us that God is trying to tell his story in each of our lives and that in our family's we are reminded of His redemptive power and great love for us.
That same day, I got a few minutes of time alone while Knox napped (!!!) and Jeremiah and Surrey went to the grocery store. Unlike most of my free time nowadays that is spent packing and stressing, I decided during this time that I'd go ahead and give Jesus a shot. I opened up my new devotional (Savor by Shauna Niequist) and as I always say - guys, you can't make this stuff up. I read the previous day's (the day of the party) page just out of curiosity and here's what I saw:
TELL THE STORY OF WHO GOD IS
We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.
- Psalm 78:4
There are two myths that we tend to believe about our stories: the first is that they're about us, and the second is that because they're about us, they don't matter. But they're not only about us, and they matter more than ever right now. When we, any of us who have been transformed by Christ, tell our own stories, we're telling the story of who God is.
I bet God has done something in your life that would make our hair stand on end if you told us about it. I bet the story of God has written in your life and your home gives voice and breath and arms and legs to the gospel every bit as much as a church sermon ever did. Preaching is important, certainly. But it can't be the only way we allow God's story to be told in our midst.
There's nothing small or inconsequential about our stories. There is, in fact, nothing bigger. And when we tell the truth about our lives - the broken parts, the secret parts, the beautiful parts - then the gospel comes to life, an actual story about redemption, instead of abstraction and theory and things you learn in Sunday school.
I mean, hello. The whole thing is just so cool and recently I've caught myself telling God that over and over. Of course it's sovereign and ordained and praiseworthy - all of these "coincidental" things that keep happening. But mostly, it's so cool how He's bringing things full circle for me during what seems like a pivotal time in my life.
Several years ago when I decided to actually contribute to social life in Richmond I met a group of girls that became my people for a season. Initially, the premise of our time together was writing a better story. And they had me pretty much literally bushwhack across water and up a mountain while pregnant in an effort to start practically choosing a better story. Who did they think they were?! Who did they think I was?! We practically just met. I don't do this. I do, however, succumb to peer pressure quite easily and I trekked on.
It's cool that this story concept has come full circle. I didn't know then what life was going to look like for the next bunch of years. If I were writing it myself, it would've been boring as crap though - easy, light, no conflict. But that's not how this bad boy is playing out. The better story for me has become one based on what God is doing and who God is, instead of it being all about me and my comfort.
So when I was at the send-off party, I caught myself looking around the room at all the different faces and reflecting a little. This was after I spent the first hour being barfed on repeatedly by my baby child. Anyway, reflecting. My story is full of different people who have come and gone during circumstances and trials that have also come and gone. I've carried a lot of guilt as things have changed. I have friend issues. What's my problem. I can't keep up, can't do anything well. I'm pretty much the worst at this whole relational thing.
But God's been reminding me it's not all about me. He has graciously brought people into my life as was necessary to learn more about myself and who He has created me to be. And he's ultimately brought people into my life to show me - and not just me but witnesses of my life, too - himself and His love more fully. What I've loved about our time at the party and our final days here in Virginia is so many people reminding me that this next step is just part of the story. Life is not over, we are not doomed or alone. We are not losing faith or giving up or phoning in. God has us and loves us and is simply carrying on the plot of our story so that it continues to teach us and others about the gospel. About brokenness and sin - but love and grace and redemption.
It was a joy to have so many people there to celebrate. It was emotional and lovely and sad and fun. I'm taking the feelings as they come, trying not to be too dramatic but knowing that this is a big thing - that God has done some deep story-writing while I've been in Richmond - and so it's all good.
I can't thank all you party-goers enough. You've loved me and cared for me so well. You've helped me take risks and know my worth. You've taught me truth while showing me grace. You've thrown baby showers. You've sent care packages during my time in the trenches. You've walked through motherhood with me. You've provided. You've been a friend when I've been the worst friend back and I've noticed. I'm so thankful. Is there a much much deeper word for thankful? If there is, than I'm that.
I hope we all can start living out our story unashamedly, trusting that it's not about us, but what God wants to share through us.
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