You might know that I had a little family blog awhile ago. By little I mean I think only my mom read it, so I'm pretty sure that probably just qualifies as an ongoing email to my mom that I sent publicly. Regardless, I wanted to document our new life in Richmond, VA so that friends and family up north could keep up-to-date since my calling consistency is way subpar. A few years into the sporadic blogging my husband and I had our first babe, Surrey, and to my mom's joy I posted weekly photos and rundowns of life with a newborn. Life after her first year was ultra boring in terms of content for anyone's interests, even my own. I gave it one last shot though, putting a lot of effort into looking like I had an ounce of excitement in my life.
And then, a little more excitement than I bargained for. Real deal hardship hit. My husband delivered the news and life as I knew it tanked in an instant. That was December 2012, two weeks before Christmas. The following year was a horrific mess and then a beautiful picture of redemption in my marriage and in my soul. Starting early this year I began having thoughts of writing - sharing - my story and our life after the fog as I've come to call it. Life seemed to have much more meaning now. God flew into our world much harder and stronger than I'd ever experienced and it's changed me for the long haul.
After a lot of brokenness and then healing for my husband and me individually and as a couple, I thought that mess was behind us and now I could truly write about "life after the fog." Like I had arrived in life. Once and done on the mega-hardship train. Thing is, new fog settles in. Am I right or am I right. It might not be as heavy or linger as long, but it still comes. Fortunately, it goes again, revealing a brighter sky and a clearer path. I'm realizing that I don't have to have a perfect, clear story in order to share and encourage and challenge and support others - we're all experiencing life in the fog to some extent. We press on in the midst of it.
That being said, I'm not totally sure where the road ahead leads - with this blog or with this life. But I'm no longer resisting what I believe to be God nudging me to get going with life - to start pursuing the desires and giftings he's given me, to silence the lies and the insecurities and walk forward, even though it may look (or feel) foolish. If I really think about it though, every really great thing that's happened in my life happened because I wasn't afraid to stand on the truth I knew God was calling me to, even when it seemed crazy. My poor parents.
I hope you'll journey with me through this - whatever this is. I always wanted to do a DIY blog to make a living because I think I'm sort of creative, but like let's just be free to finally admit I hate sewing. And spray painting. So just, no. But we're moving (again) and having another baby and obviously traumatizing our first child all in the span of four weeks so I'm sure Jesus will equip me with plenty of thoughts and realness and life to share and use from here on out.
This is for you, mom...
